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23rd-Jan-2009 12:56 am - Meme, nice way to start updating
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me!" or something.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will post the answers to the questions (and the questions themselves) on your blog or journal.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. And thus the endless cycle of the meme goes on and on and on and on...

From salad_lord 

1. You have the golden opportunity to say whatever you want to William Beckett. No one else is around; it's just you and him. What do you tell him?
Well, this is definately going to be a long conversation. I had this all planned out at one point. "Why are you doing this? You're only hurting your true fans just to gain the fake ones who are going to drop you the second you drop out of style. I used to think that you were better than the rest of musicians. You really helped me get through some hard times in my life, and I'm not just saying that to be like all of your other fans. You used to stand for something to me, but the second you started treating people like shit, it hurt me. Everyone just says you have a weird sense of humor, but it's not humor when you mock people and blatently ignore people who've spent their hard earned money to see you. Without the fans, you'd be nothing and when you treat them like shit, you lose them. Don't think that you're famous just because you're on MTV, because most people have never heard of you. I miss the William Beckett that actually gave a shit about his fans, the one that played Nerf Guns on Warped Tour and the one who believed that everyone was a candle in a dark room. The minute you gave up your beliefs was the same minute that you sold out because a true sell-out gives up their beliefs just for fame and fortune. A hundred years from now, no one is going to even remember that you existed, so why waste life being an asshole to those that really care about you and your music." I really could go on longer than that, but I won't.

2. Who or what had the biggest influence on your desire to begin writing?
I can't remember a time when I didn't write. The whole reason why I taught myself how to read and write was to be able to escape from my father. It was a way out of a bad situation, and whenever eh would get on me about something, I'd lock myself in my room and read or write because when I was little, I really thought that when I imagined things, I was really in another world, somewhere where my father couldn't get me.

3. In what ways do you see your mother in yourself? Are you bothered by these qualities or do you embrace them?
My mom and I are both very stubborn in our ways. Whenever we start fighting over something, neither of us want to give in. We're both level-headed and think things through before we make descisions. I suppose, like her, I'm afraid to take chances. We both like to help people in the only ways that we know how, her through the church, myself through my own ways. It doesn't bother me too much that we are so similar, because lets face it, I'd rather take after her than my dad.

4. What was your biggest fear as a child?
That my parents didn't love me. I'm not even joking.

5. So you're driving down the road and you see "http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o307/anddontforget/this%20providence/dan4.png" this guy who in an alternate reality is not Dan Young, he's just some dude with a scruffy face, a plaid shirt and a nice smile. He's holding a sign requesting a ride to a destination that happens to be exactly where you're going which is half an hour away. Do you pick him up? If not, can you think of any instance where you WOULD pick up a hitch-hiker?
I would definately consider it for a minute. About five hundred questions would run through my head, like "Does he look like he could kill me?" and "How far away is this destination?", the further away the place is, the more likely I'd be to pick him up because he couldn't walk there. Eventually, my guilty concious would win out and I'd stop.
1st-Dec-2008 03:34 pm - This just looks like a rerun...

The Rules:
1. Answer each of the questions above using the Flickr Search engine.
2. Choose a photo from the first three pages.
3. Copy the URL of your favorite photo into this site: http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php
4. Then share with the world :) ((This means uploading it to Flickr, or saving the image and hosting it somewhere to post it!))

1. First Name: Jenn.
2. Favorite Food: Fries. I know its a cupcake, but it was so cool looking.
3. Hometown: Tuckerton, NJ.
4. Favorite Color: Orange.
5. Celebrity Crush: Jensen Ackles. His short-ness is endering, haha.
6. Favorite Drink: Green Tea.
7. Dream Vacation: San Francisco.
8. Favorite Dessert: Cupcakes. After getting amazing cupcake pictures before, I had to do it.
9. What I Want To Be When I Grow Up: I don't know.
10. What I Love Most In The World: Understanding.
11. One Word That Describes Me: Caring.
12. My Livejournal Name: Orchid Pacer. I was surprised when soemthign actually came up for it.

A real update to follow after class.
6th-Nov-2008 04:52 pm - Sorry
I've been neglecting this journal for a week or two. I've got a new journal that I've been posting every day, but I've been doing it anonomously as a sort of writing challenge to illustrate how much people really tell people that they never met. Or something like that. if you do happen to stumble onto it, I ask that you don't reveal who I am, because you guys will know its me when you read the style of writing.

On another note, November is here! And we in the writing world know what that means. The return of National Novel Writing Month, as if my life wasn't stressful enough. Of course, I'm a glutton for punishment and decided to participate. It's kind of like crack; you get addicted to the ruush of having so many words flow from your brain to the page. Really, there's nothing like that feeling. Here's a little synopsis of this year's novel for you:

Synopsis: The Uneditted, Uncut Autobiography of Abigail Chester
One of Hollywood's biggest names, Abigail Chester, comes forth to tell her story. From growing up in a middle-class, suburban home to becoming a household name, she chronicles everything from how she lost her parents, to disappearing off the grid, to her rise to success, and then how she lost it all. Leave everything you thought you knew about Abigail Chester behind, because as she said, "I'm here to prove you all wrong."

Excerpt: The Uneditted, Uncut Autobiography of Abigail Chester
Chances are you picked up this book to find out the truth. Many of you know me from my rock band Tanglewood. Even more of you know me from the recent highly-publicized court case. And all of you have your preconceived notions about who you think I am. Well, I’m here to prove you all wrong. Don’t judge me based on that trial or what you know about my popularity. What all of you need to know is that I’m human; I make mistakes. I suppose the best place to start this story is the beginning.

I was born on August 24, 1983 at a small hospital in the backwoods of New Jersey to George and Lynn Hutchensen. I was a completely unremarkable baby; I looked like all the other newborns in the nursery. Just like all of you, I had to learn to walk and talk and use the “potty.” I grew up in a typical lower-middle class household. My parents struggled to pay the bills every month, but we never went without dinner.

So yeah, not too sure how it's going to turn out, but I have high hopes. I plan on setting up the chapters like "tracks" on a cd and have each chapter open up with the song lyrics for one of "Abby's" songs that she's written. I've found out that I'm no Frank Sinatra, though, when it comes to writing lyrics. I'm just glad I don't have to do it for a living lol.

So yeah, that's the most current news. Some things went down in the past few weeks that I'd rather not talk about because they weren't the most modivating. I'm hoping to put all of that behind me and start fresh. That's abut it, I think.

Stay cool, guys!
College sucks. I'm so stressed out right now. I worked on homework all weekend and I'm still behind. I have to read 6 pages of Cold Mountain for Wednsday; I have a dialogue due on Wednsday for French when I didn't even go to class today; I have to start my 7 page research paper on Amy Tan's The Joy Luck Club; I'm still not done with the essay for Biblical Themes that I started yesterday; I have to register for classes next week; it turns out that I probably won't be able to graduate on time, I'll be 2 credits short. So yeah, needlss to say that makes for a very stressed out Jenn. At this point, I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore. I'm not in the major that I wanted, I'm not going to graduate on time... And the list goes on. I figured if I take summer courses on the internet, I might be able ot get out on time. At this point, I just want to be out of here.

Can I get an "amen"?

Anyway, that's pretty much all that weighing on my mind right now. I can't even think about writing anything at this point. I'm just fousing on getting through these next two weeks with hearts and wrists intact...
Not much to say. School's the same as always. I got into a fight with my roommate 2 days ago and she just got over being mad at me. I basically told her that I wouldn't be able to finish school on time and I'd have to go an extra semester and I wouldn't be able to afford it. My parents are making me pay for college now, even though they promised that they would pay for the first four years. She just came back at me by saying,
"Well, you can get a loan." Then I said something like, "You don't know how expensive it is to go here. I'm already in debt." Then she said, "You aren't the only one with money problems." And she didn't start talking to me until dinner today. She really doesn't realize how much it costs to go here, she gets free tuition and her parents pay for her housing and books, and she has a lot of money in the bank from her inheritance. So, yeah. My parents informed me over the summer that they're cutting me off, and the minute I graduate college, I don't have a place to stay any more, so I have to find an apartment or something. So much for my plans of saving up while I'm in college for a house or a new car. I get to pay for $25,000 worth of useless knowledge per year.

But, yeah, that was the drama for the week. I really hate drama. I get to go home this weekend, so that's something to look forward to. My parents want me to go apple picking with them on Saturday, and I get to go with Ashley to see Nights In Rodanthe on Friday. Then, on Saturday night, I get to chill with Dan. It's going to be good times. It's that prospect that's going to get me through this week. Now, I get to wait for Sarah to give me back my flash drive so I can actually get some of my novel done. Yeah, forget it, I'm not going to be able to write tonight. Son of a bitch...
Why is college so boring? So, last update was Sarah's birthday and Dan's concert. Ok. They both survived, thankfully lol. Turns out that one of Dan's friend's girlfriend drove them, so he didn't have to. He was acting really weird again afterwards for 4 or 5 days, like he didn't really talk to me, which is cool with me, but it was just weird. Then, about 3 days ago, he started with the religiously calling/telling me to call him every day. I don't know. He's just a confusing guy I guess. Sarah had fun on her birthday, and every night after it until Saturday. I really don't see what's so great about drinking, but whatever. If it's a big deal to her...

Classes are boring, but what else is new? Writing is slow going. I don't know why I can't seem to write. I need my modivation back, and ~the zone~ needs to let me in. I'm going to try and write during work tonight, but I don't know how well that's going to go. This is incredibly frustrating.

I'm going home this weekend for a visit. My mom's pissed at me, but I don't care.
So, it's Sarah's 21st birthday, and you know what that means. She can now legally drink. She was so excited about it. I don't get the big deal, it's just drinking after all. I guess that makes me a freak in her book, but I don't really care. She had her birthday party and no one showed up, which is really sad. I was surprised at how well she took it, though. Normally she would have balled her eyes out and demanded her boyfriend to take her home, but for once she was just like, "Ok, I'm going to have a good time anyway." Very not Sarah-like (PS: I didn't go to her party because I had class). Maybe she's growing up. Afterwards, we went bowling. I totally lost; my score was 53. :( I hate losing. We were in the parking lot and some of her friends pulled up an she decided to go outwith them, so that's where she is right now.

As if I didn't have enough to worry about with that, I get to worry about Dan. He's at a metal concert with his friends and he already told me he was going to drink, and he's supposed to be the designated driver. I have faith that he knows his limits well enough not to over do it, but I'm still worried because that's what I do. I'm definatly saying my prayers tonight (even though he's an atheist, it can't hurt, can it?).

So, what else has happened since I posted last? Oh, I had a mental breakdown over the weekend. I don't even know why, but I just completely broke down. I was really lonely because I didn't really talk to anyone at all in person. Add to that I had a bout of writer's block (you know what that's like, Erin) and I was stressing out over my novel. I was supposed to edit the first chapter on Saturday and start the second one on Sunday. That's not how it went down, though. I'm still trying to edit the first chapter. This is really a bitch because essentially I'm changing the whole subplot and alot of the original plot. However, I really like the way this is turning out. It's a lot darker than it started out, which is definately a good thing.

Ending that rant, classes are the same as usual. I highly reccommend you to read The Fifth Child by Doris Lessing. It's a very good social satire piece. I loved it.

I think that's it, so I'm gonna go now.
26th-Aug-2008 04:35 pm - Ok, true update time...
So, this summer was unlike any other I've had before. In the beginning, I had a hard time finding a job, but eventually I got one at ShopRite, a grocery store. I just figured it would be like every other job, something to do for the money and then bail out at the end of the summer to get back to my real life. I couldn't have been more wrong.I never knew I'd meet the people I met or end up with more friends than I've ever had in my life. And then there was him.

Of course, Jenn can't go through a summer without getting a crush on someone, right? His name is Dan. At first I didn't really like him because he kind of creeped me out with his long hair (for some reason, guys with long hair scare the shit out of me), but then he was really nice to me when no one else was (it helped that a few days later he shaved his head and it made him more approachable). We all know how it goes, I kind of forgot about him for a little bit, until the managers told me that I had to be trained on the self-checkouts (SCOTS for short). He, of course, was the person who ran those. I don't even know what happened that day, but after that I definately had... something. Of course I was akward the whole training process, because that's how it goes with me.

I made the mistake of telling my friends that I liked him and of course everytime I hung out with them, they were pushing me to ask him out, which I ended up doing. Can I just say that I was really expecting him to say no? But, surprisingly, he agreed. Then we went mini-golfing (GAYEST THING EVER, DON'T DO IT). We actually ended up having a lot in common (weird 'cause that never happens). Yet again, I was expecting him to just blow me off afterwards (let's face it, its happened before), but he surprised me again by asking me to go to the movies with him.

Yeah, and ummm... I don't really know what we are, but we're something, friends or otherwise. We hung out a lot, just watching tv and stuff, and we've gone out a few more times. Kissing and hugs are involved. I don't want to label us if there is anything more than just friends because I really hate that. He's... very confusing. His actions say one thing, but the way he talks is something completely different. I don't know. It doesn't matter anyway because in the end what I do know about this whole thing is I like being with him and I like talking to him. That's what I do know.

So far we've talked on the phone every day since I left for school, granted it's only been 3 days, but still. If I was just another stupid girl to him I think he would have stopped calling or something. Ugh, I hate this business. I don't like talking so much about this kind of stuff because I feel like I'm annoying everyone with all this shit, so if you guys ever get sick of me talking about him, just tell me.

Ok, Dan aside now, ShopRite really isn't that bad. For the most part, the people I worked with are nice. The customers are another story. Never have I been cursed out by so many different people I didn't know. It was good times in the end, though. I laugh about it now.

Sarah came down to visit. I hated that whole week. Worst week of the whole summer, hands down. :(

Other than that, I'd say it was pretty uneventful, other than the numerous fights I got into with my family over everything and nearly starving to death because they only went shopping once the entire time I was home. Yeah, yeah I know "You worked in a grocery store and you starved to death?! Why didn't you just buy food there?!" And the answer to that... because I am cheap.

I knew I was not going into this year of college finacially strong, so I figured starve over the summer to feed myself in the ten months I was going to be in the bowels of Hell. I'm not gonna lie, there were entire days when I didn't eat because my family's a bunch of jackasses. So now, I try to gain back the 10 pounds I lost over summer, which is going to be difficult.

So that was pretty much my summer and I would have put that whole thing behind a cut, but I lost the code to make the cut, so I apologize.

Until next time!
26th-Aug-2008 09:18 am - I have risen from the dead!
It's been 18 weeks since the last time I updated. Wow is all I have to say. I don't have much time right now to do a full-on update about my summer, but I will later today. Summer was awesome, though. Good times were had. School came back too soon. Ok, so I have to go to class soon and I haen't even gotten dressed yet, so I'm gonna go.
18th-Apr-2008 12:38 pm - Roommate Issues
Ok, Sarah's pissed at me and I don't know why. She has been giving me attitude all day, ever since I made a kind of mean commment. The thing of it is, it wasn't even that mean. First off, you should know when I wake up, I'm not the nicest person in the world. I tend to say things that I don't really mean just because at that point of the day I'm still really tired.

Basically I said I wanted to take a nap because I hadn't slept well last night because Sarah was talking in her sleep (AGAIN). She's been talking in her sleep for the past week, and I can't sleep when people do that. So I'm sleep deprived. I'm grumpy. Sarah says, "Oh, well I slept really good last night." Grammar issues aside, I snapped back, "I know. I heard you all through last night." She responded, "Well, It's not like I can control it when I talk in my sleep."

The thing of it is, she can. The only reason she talks in her sleep is when she puts huge amounts of stress on herself during the day, and that pisses me off. Her life is not hard. She doesn't have to deal with a lot of things.

Ever since she came back to the dorm on Monday, she's been "sick like a dog." Ok, it's a fucking cold. Get the fuck over it. The only thing she's done in the past week is complained about how horrible she feels. I can't take people who complain about that. Everyone gets sick, you aren't the only one, you know. She does it to get sympathy, and I don't give her it. She's just pissin gme off so much lately. I really don't know how this is going to work next year, me living with her and all. At this point I just want to say


Ok, end rant.

I have writer's block. It sucks. Big time. I haven't been able to write ever since... 2 weeks ago. It's frustrating because now I don't have that outlet to help me get through this tiff with Sarah. It's frustrating, knowing what you want to write, but for some reason having a mental block preventing you from saying it. It's hard to explain to someone who's never had it.

I guess I could decribe it like driving. You're driving down a highway, going 70-80 miles an hour, then you get stuck in traffic. You know your destination and how to get there, but something is preventing you from getting there as fast as you want to. For me the traffic jam is everything that comes with end of the year shit with school. Stress, papers you waited until the last minute to write, presentations... and the list goes on.

There's too much to do and very little time to do it in.

If only they invented 30-hour days rather than 24.
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